I had a black umbrella with a red frill all around the edge. One day I was walking across an intersection in Melbourne in the rain. A girl walked past with her boyfriend and said, 'That umbrella is so sexy'. I found this quite amusing. I bought it because I thought it was pretty.
A few months ago I was waiting to cross Collins Street holding the same umbrella above my head, feeling sure that I looked super sexy. A group of young guys were standing nearby and kept looking at me. They didn't have umbrellas. One said, 'Excuse me, can you tell me where you bought your umbrella?' Again I was highly amused and wondered whether they simply wanted to buy an umbrella, or whether they wanted one with a red frill all the way around.
Last Thursday the tram decided to terminate a few blocks from my apartment. I stepped out into rain that was absolutely bucketing down. When I popped up my umbrella I realized that the frame had snapped in two places. It was a sorry, drooping mess of an umbrella, distinctly unsexy. It was fun walking in the rain anyway. I knew I could jump into the shower as soon as I got home.
I was about to cross Collins Street again and a tall young man with glasses bounded across the street and hopped under my drooping umbrella. 'Can I share your umbrella?' he asked. 'Sure, I said. I really didn't expect this'. I meant that I really didn't expect it to be suddently pouring down rain. He replied, 'No pressure', thinking that I meant that I didn't expect to be sharing my umbrella. A bit embarrassing, but he sprinted off again as soon as the lights changed.
I'll have to think very carefully about my next umbrella purchase. A well-selected umbrella doesn't only protect you from the constantly changing weather conditions in Melbourne, but also has the potential to attract highly amusing and stimulating social situations on the street.
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